Gratitude and Great Expectations

It’s easy to feel thankful when things go according to plan. But what happens when life doesn’t go the way I thought it would? When I don’t get what I expected, am I still grateful?

I shared a goal with a friend recently, hoping for their support. Their initial reaction wasn’t encouraging, and that threw me off at first. Convinced that the path I was pursuing is worthwhile, I used their feedback to adjust my approach. I stayed committed and remained grateful—for their feedback.

When my expectations are met, gratitude comes naturally. I tell myself: This is how it ought to be. But when things fall short or reality doesn’t line up with what I thought should happen, disappointment sets in.

So the real question is—does gratitude depend on getting what I want? If my sense of gratitude only shows up when I receive what I hoped for, then it’s not really gratitude—it’s approval or validation. It’s a reaction to being pleased.

Gratitude is rooted in perspective. It’s the ability to see what is, even when what should have been never came. That kind of gratitude doesn’t deny disappointment—it just doesn’t give it the final word. Gratitude assesses the situation, learns from it and carries on with an openness to possibilities.

About a month after my conversation, that same friend came back with an unexpected opportunity inspired by the goal I had shared. They had been thinking about our conversation and offered me an opportunity even bigger than I imagined.

When I learn to separate my gratitude from my expectations, I create space for contentment. I stop measuring my joy by how closely life follows my script. Instead, I begin to notice the gifts that are still around me—the lessons, the growth and the unexpected blessings.

Life will not always go the way I think it should or want it to go but there’s always something for which to be grateful.